Clarity
by Aiko Isari
Summary: In case death gets lonely. norn/alice reincarnation au.


_Warning for mention of suicide and death._

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Alice wonders, often, why she remembers, and her goddess doesn't.

Lain.

Norn.

Lain.

Not her name anymore. Her name has changed because the world has changed

It's the present day but that day is not the same start as it was last time. It's the present day and it's not the same world it was last time. The wires are wireless. It's the present day and-

Time has stopped again. It moves outside the elegant windows and beautiful lounge but here there is nothing moving but the two of them.

She is remembering again. Lain's hair is turning gold even though she remembers it being brown. Through her terror she remembers it being brown. Through her terror, she remembers Lain's hand being cold everywhere but where their fingers were twined.

Present day the monster is warping Norn's expression into one without a real face. Present time Lain is smiling at her and whispering her secrets into her ear. Her shame if a fixated point that makes her want to push Norn away but she doesn't.

"Welcome home Alice."

Robotically spoken. Robot red red visor with no numbers this time. The security system is too cold for physical warmth. It watches from its vine and looks powerful and imposing. There are no hands to hold and she wants to hold them both in hers and kiss.

This time she is not married and can't name her child Lain. This time she is only a girl blessed by the portal to find her beloved this time she is only a girl who was torn from what she should know but doesn't.

Present time, the world is ending. Present time, her love does nothing but watch because her interference might lead to her downfall. Present time, her love can reset this whole game in an instant the second she remembers but the second she remembers is the day her love ends. None of these things can happen.

Present day, the despair takes hold of the earth. Present day, she sees her grandfather and wonders if her father killed himself like he wanted to. Present day, present time.

Alice giggles because there is no such thing.

Her love is always present. Her love is sweet and clear where the Wired muddied up everything, where the inside of the Wired is so cold and clear.

"I'm home."

"You look sad."

"I miss you, Lain."

If Alice wanted she could take Norn's power. If Alice wanted, she could make her Lain remember. But God can only be God while it forgets humanity. At least in this realm the present day is irrelevant. The end of the world is irrelevant. The end of all things is able to be turned off like the great PC that Lain used to power her smile, the humanity that had risen from the darkness of all things.

The person who lied, the father who wasn't, once looked at her like she was a squeezable centipede. Like his shoe was waiting for her head.

Alice wears black and mourns Lain. Alice offers Norn a teddy bear pajama set and Norn wears it because Alice smiles when she does.

In the present time outside the window, the world is probably evolving too fast and ending. Her Dobermon, her messenger, is mourned because he understood her love and now he is gone too.

God is her companion. Norn is right here, but her love is on the other side with the promise that isn't really broken because it was technically never made.

Lain looks at her with Norn's blue eyes and smiles ever so shyly and for a moment, Alice feels complete.

Present day, she confesses to Lain and throws away all the pictures of her teacher.

Present time, she watches the Tamers evolve with the last life force of her first friend.

Present day she mourns him because he is a sacrificial pawn.

Present time she knows that Lain would make her a new one if she just asked her to or rebirth the old one.

Alice will never ask her to. Alice will kiss her hair and stroke the porcelain face when it leaves that armor of hers and smiles innocently. Alice will sit with her and watch the destruction and watch the heroes rise up and live again because why not and why else?

She will ignore the persistent one banging at their door. She will ignore the false god because the only one worshiped is Lain even when she doesn't remember what worship is. Yggdrasil is this world's god even though she isn't.

She is Alice's god and her only repentance is through love.

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 _ **A/N:** _ Um... yeah. Please read and review?

Challenges: For Diversity Writing B84. Write a fic that explores metaphysics. I'm pretty sure this is metaphysics, AU Boot Camp prompt 'imaginary' (reincarnation!AU), and Pairing Diversity Boot Camp prompt 27. forbidden love (Norn/Alice).


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